Who Took Rick’s Gun Out of the Blender? The Definitive Investigation
The initial and highly improbable placement of the gun in the blender is attributed to Rick Sanchez himself, but the removal was executed by Morty Smith, acting under duress and amidst a vortex of interdimensional chaos.
The Genesis of Weaponized Blending: A Sanchez Special
Rick Sanchez, that universe-hopping mad scientist, isn’t exactly known for his careful handling of weaponry. His tendency towards impulsive experimentation, coupled with a fondness for alcoholic beverages of questionable origin, often leads to…unorthodox situations. The “Gun in the Blender” incident is a prime example.
The story, as best as can be pieced together from fragmented memories (both Rick’s and Morty’s), began with Rick attempting to “improve” his portal gun’s charging efficiency using common household appliances. The blender, ostensibly chosen for its “vibrational resonance compatibility” (Rick’s words, not mine), quickly became the unwilling host to a dismantled portal gun. However, in a moment of characteristic absentmindedness, Rick reassembled the gun…inside the blender.
Why a Gun Needs Retrieval
One might ask: why bother removing the gun at all? Leaving it in the blender, while undeniably inconvenient, presented certain advantages:
- Security: An unexpected blender-based weapon could startle intruders.
- Artistic Value: The juxtaposition of technology and kitchenware offered a strange, subversive statement.
- Rick’s Laziness: Moving it would have required sobriety and effort, both in short supply.
However, the downsides rapidly outweighed the potential benefits. Summer needed to make smoothies. Morty was tasked with cleaning up Rick’s mess. And, perhaps most importantly, the rhythmic whirring of the blender motor, combined with the gun’s presence, began emitting a low-frequency hum that attracted attention from a particularly unpleasant species of interdimensional bureaucrats known as the “Form 427B Enforcement Agents.”
The Perilous Extraction Process
The extraction process was far from straightforward. Morty, armed with nothing but his innate anxiety and a rusty butter knife, faced several challenges:
- Avoiding the Blades: A key concern.
- Disarming Potential Traps: Rick, in his “engineering process,” might have added some…defenses.
- Maintaining Temporal Stability: The blender’s vibrations were subtly affecting the local spacetime continuum.
- Avoiding Contact with Undetermined Substances: Questionable leftovers were present in the blender.
Morty’s approach was a combination of desperate reaching and muttered apologies to the appliance. He managed to wiggle the gun free without triggering any of Rick’s hypothesized traps (or, more likely, Rick had forgotten to install them).
The Aftermath: A Universe Still Turning
The removal of the gun from the blender didn’t solve all of their problems. The Form 427B Enforcement Agents still arrived, demanding to see Rick’s “Dimensional Transit Permit” (which, naturally, he didn’t have). The subsequent chase involved a sentient toaster, a collapsing pocket dimension, and a surprisingly helpful group of sentient squirrels.
But at least the gun was no longer in the blender.
Common Mistakes to Avoid When Blending Weapons
This incident serves as a cautionary tale. Here are some common mistakes to avoid when experimenting with weaponry and kitchen appliances:
- Mixing Projectiles and Liquefied Foods: An obvious, yet overlooked, danger.
- Assuming Temporal Stability: Always a risk with Rick’s inventions.
- Underestimating Bureaucratic Interest: Interdimensional agencies have surprisingly wide jurisdiction.
- Trusting Rick’s Instructions: His instructions are more akin to abstract art than practical guidance.
| Mistake | Consequence |
|---|---|
| Projectiles & Liquified Foods | Explosive smoothie |
| Assuming Temporal Stability | Time paradoxes and existential crises |
| Underestimating Bureaucracy | Fines, imprisonment, interdimensional audits |
| Trusting Rick’s Instructions | Catastrophic unintended outcomes |
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
H4 Was Rick sober when he put the gun in the blender?
Almost certainly not. Evidence suggests a blood alcohol content high enough to incapacitate a small horse. Rick’s baseline state of inebriation likely contributed significantly to the initial incident.
H4 What kind of gun was it?
It was a modified version of Rick’s portal gun, capable of opening doorways to other dimensions and realities. Its exact specifications are classified, mostly because Rick doesn’t remember them himself.
H4 Why didn’t Rick just take the gun out himself?
He claimed he was “busy calibrating the sonic frequency of the dishwasher” and that Morty’s inherent clumsiness would “add a layer of comedic tension” to the situation. Translation: he was hungover.
H4 Were any smoothies harmed in the making of this story?
Thankfully, no smoothies were directly harmed. However, several fruit were emotionally traumatized by the proximity of the disassembled portal gun.
H4 Did Morty receive any compensation for his efforts?
The compensation was a lukewarm “Good job, Morty” and the implied threat of further interdimensional chores if he failed. Morty considers this a victory.
H4 Could this have been avoided with better planning?
Undoubtedly. But better planning is antithetical to Rick’s entire ethos. Chaos is the point, not the accident.
H4 Are blenders dangerous?
Yes. Especially when filled with experimental weaponry. Exercise extreme caution when operating any kitchen appliance while in the vicinity of Rick Sanchez.
H4 What was the low-frequency hum that attracted the Form 427B Enforcement Agents?
The hum was a dimensional signature created by the portal gun interfering with the blender’s motor frequency. It acted as a beacon, alerting bureaucratic authorities to the potential violations of interdimensional protocol.
H4 Did the Form 427B Enforcement Agents file any charges?
They attempted to, but Rick managed to bribe them with a batch of concentrated dark matter, which is considered a delicacy in their particular dimension.
H4 What happened to the sentient toaster?
The sentient toaster was briefly used as a makeshift weapon against the Form 427B Enforcement Agents, then later traded for spare parts at an interdimensional flea market. Its current whereabouts are unknown.
H4 Is there a lesson to be learned from this experience?
Yes: never let Rick Sanchez near your kitchen appliances.
H4 Will this happen again?
Given Rick’s track record, a similar incident is statistically inevitable. The only question is what appliance will be weaponized next.